Thursday, October 22, 2015

Retro TV Thursday-Theme songs and such


Today on Neo Retro Crash we explore the weird and wacky world of television theme songs.  As far as I can tell there are three separate categories of television theme song,  

Category one:  Put the premise of the show into the theme song.  I call this the Sherwood Schwartz theory.  The best examples of this theory would be Gilligan's Island and the Brady Bunch.  This spilled over into other classic shows like Petticoat Junction, Green Acres, and the Beverly Hillbillies.  It is a trend that spilled over all throughout the history of television.  Maude, The Jeffersons, and Good Times also follow the rule of the Musical these song premise placement.  From Car 54 all the way through to The Fall Guy, and Dukes of Hazzard.  The premise is right up front.  The most obvious of these is probably the theme to The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Category two: The spirit of the show.  Some theme songs try not to telegraph the plot of the series.  It is their intent to express the feel the the show has.  I consider it the musical appetizer that whets the palette for a show.  Friends, Cheers, Perfect Strangers, Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley and Bosom Buddies (the original theme) are examples of the opening theme expressing the shows attitude and spirit.

Category three: The bad ass instrumental.  This happens all too infrequently, but shows like Taxi, Barney Miller, Home Improvement, and Night Court lured us int to their television world with really cool instrumental theme songs.  

There have been successful theme songs in every category, some of them even breaking into the pop charts and radio airplay.  Hiding the premise in the theme song seems to be the most prevelant and longest lasting form for television themes.  It does not guarantee the success of a show.  A stupid premise can still kill a series, so can bad writing, poor acting, or even a art blind television executive.

Clever theme songs with a dominant premise presence couldn't save My Mother The Car or It's About Time, but may have helped Mr. Ed.  It saddens me that show creators feel the need to dumd down television for the average American viewer.

Some of the best television shows have had themes that telegraphed nothing. Law and Order, Northern Exposure, Sanford and Son had brilliantly written instrumental themes.

If you check out the videos, I've collected some of the most memorable television themes.  Some are crappy themes from crappy shows to the best of the best,  Remember this is an incomplete playlist and totally base on my worthless opinion.

until next time, Toodles kids.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Grab Bag Wednesday: Whatever happened to Freakies Cereal


Growing up when I did, there are certain pop culture things that I remember...nobody else doe, but I do/  It being October, the stores are filled with Halloween themed things.  It is the time of year when every supermarket in the Country is stocking the classic monster cereals.

I like a nice bowl of Boo Berry as much as the next guy, but it doesn't make me hearken back t my youth as much as my old man's inconsistent oatmeal.  The year was 1975 and I was 7 years old.  Like every good 7 yr old. I wanted everything I saw on the television.  What I saw was the Freakies.




The Freakies were the product of drug addled hippies moving into new careers in Advertising.  These strange cereal spokes-things were both groovy and terrifying.  They had acid induced marketing written all over them,  The original Freakies lived in a tree and spent much of their time concerned about their ancestral home and...cereal.

The usual stuff I steal from Wikipedia.
The Freakies were made up of seven creatures named Hamhose, Gargle, Cowmumble, Grumble, Goody-Goody, Snorkeldorf and the leader BossMoss. In the mythology of the Freakies, the seven went in search of the legendary Freakies Tree which grew the Freakies cereal. They found the Tree, realized the legend was true, and promptly took up residence in the Tree which then became the backdrop for all the TV spots and package back stories. In 1987, a new Freakies cereal was made, depicting the characters as aliens from another planet. Boss Moss and Grumble were still the same, but the other characters were replaced by new ones, named Hugger, Sweetie, Tooter and Hotdog.

I know very little of the replacement freakies that were redesigned by people liike me to sway a new generation to eat weird cereal products, but it seems to me they strayed from the mythos.  I know it's bizarre to be concerned about the marketing mythos of a cereal, but somethings aren't supposed to change.  Cereal mascots get updated all the time.  Even the Monster cereals have had makeovers, but they are still the same basic cartoon.  Tony the Tiger is still a tiger,  Toucan Sam, is still a snotty toucan,

The overhaul on the Freakies came with character changes.  the group abandoned their tree.  The new 80's Freakies were from space and wore Hawaiian shirts.  they probably listened to Wham instead of the Grateful Dead.  

I watched a piece of my childhood crumble and fade into obscurity.  No one remembers the Freakies and their tree hugging ways.  The death of the Freakies may have led to the rise of clear cutting in the forest and strip mines, and global warming.  We may never know.

For me it was more than a keeping up with the times, it was the abandonment of the values that could have saved a planet.  Sadly, in my life, I;ve seen the shift from trees are good to  greed is good.  I don't think we've ever recovered.

That's right, I just took some nostalgic reverie about breakfast cereals and made it into a minor social commentary.  Today's moral, things change, but not always for the better.



Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Super Monster Tuesday: Marvel makes men into monsters into heroes

I realize, that I've missed a few days, and I apologize, but somedays the muse bites and leads me on a path not appropriate for this blog and I must go elsewhere to flex my angst.

Today we must talk about the great lost achievement of Marvel comics.  Much more often than DC, Marvel has tried to create heroes out of things that should be monsters.  They may be the only comics to ever try to explore the particular emotional mindset of what it means to be trapped in a monstrous form..

Ben Grimm:- the Thing
Trapped in his monstrous form, Grimm is an unhappy yet reliable member of the team. He trusts in his friend Reed Richards to one day develop a cure for his condition. However, when he encounters blind sculptress Alicia Masters,  Grimm develops an unconscious resistance to being transformed back to his human form. Subconsciously fearing that Masters prefers him to remain in the monstrous form of the Thing, Grimm's body rejects various attempts by Richards to restore his human form, lest he lose Masters' love. Grimm has remained a stalwart member of the Fantastic Four for years. The Thing first fought the Hulk early in his career, with many such further clashes over the years. Not long after that, he is first reverted to his human form, but is then restored to his Thing form to battle Doctor Doom.

The Hulk
The Hulk first appeared in The Incredible Hulk #1 (cover dated May 1962), written by writer-editor Stan Lee, penciled and co-plotted by Jack Kirby, and inked by Paul Reinman. Lee cites influence from Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the Hulk's creation:

It was patently apparent that [the monstrous character the] Thing was the most popular character in [Marvel's recently created superhero team the] Fantastic Four.... For a long time I'd been aware of the fact that people were more likely to favor someone who was less than perfect.... It's a safe bet that you remember Quasimodo, but how easily can you name any of the heroic, handsomer, more glamorous characters in The Hunchback of Notre Dame? And then there's Frankenstein... I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the Frankenstein monster. No one could ever convince me that he was the bad guy.... He never wanted to hurt anyone; he merely groped his torturous way through a second life trying to defend himself, trying to come to terms with those who sought to destroy him. ... I decided I might as well borrow from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde as well — our protagonist would constantly change from his normal identity to his superhuman alter ego and back again.

Kirby, commenting upon his influences in drawing the character, recalled as inspiration the tale of a mother who rescues her child who is trapped beneath a car. Lee has also compared Hulk to the Golem of Jewish mythology

The Ghost Rider
After a deal with the devil like character Mephisto to cure his Mentors Cancer, Johnny Blaze defeated the demon with the power of true love.  Johnny later learned that demons are spiteful

Blaze was unaware that Mephisto had bonded him with the demon Zarathos as an act of revenge for not being able to obtain Johnny's soul for himself. Johnny was transformed into a Ghost Rider, a leather-clad skeleton, his head cloaked in a sheath of flame, the night after Crash's death. While Johnny still had his soul, he was forced to punish the wicked and evil upon Mephisto's demands whenever needed. Whenever he was in the presence of evil he would transform into the Ghost Rider, to exact the devil's revenge, returning the evil to Hell. Blaze was not completely lost in the transformation however, and would also help the innocent when they were in danger


Sasquatch
Dr. Walter Langkowski is a member of Alpha Flight, a native of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada of Polish Jewish origin and a renowned physicist, and a professor of both physics and biophysics at McGill University.  He is also a former football player for the Green Bay Packers.

He possesses the ability to transform into a super-strong, orange-haired beast resembling the legendary Sasquatch. This transformation is triggered by willpower. In his transformed state, Langkowski has increased strength, stamina, and resistance to injury. He also has sharp claws and is able to leap incredible distances.

These powers were a result of Langkowski's self-experimentation with gamma radiation. In an attempt to become like the Hulk, Langkowski bombarded himself with a gamma ray projector at his laboratory near the Arctic Circle. As a proposed explanation for why he transformed into an orange instead of green behemoth (as gamma-irradiated persons are usually affected), Langkowski assumed it had something to do with the Aurora Borealis.

However, unknown to Langkowski, it was not the gamma rays that turned him into Sasquatch, but the fact that his lab equipment opened a doorway between our world and the "Realm of Great Beasts." When this portal was opened, a mystical beast called Tanaraq invaded Langkowski's body and granted him his powers. Langkowski had to learn to maintain his own personality and intelligence when in the form of Sasquatch, and was very successful for a time.

Marvel even took a stab at more traditional monsters.  The conversion was not always well executed or thought ou, but you had to appreciate the attempt.  Marvel may be the first folks to try and create the good guy vampire.  I can't prove that it led to Twilight, but curse them if it did.

Morbius, the Living Vampire
Michael Morbius experienced a transformation by electrical shock treatment and chemical ingestion into a pseudo-vampire. As a pseudo-vampire, Morbius does not possess all the powers of an actual vampire, nor is he subject to all the traditional limitations and weaknesses thereof. He possesses a variety of superhuman powers, some of which are similar to supernatural vampires within the Marvel Universe. Due to his vampire-like condition, Morbius is forced to ingest fresh blood on a regular basis to sustain his life and vitality. How much blood he requires and how often he has to feed has not been specified in the comics. However, Morbius does not possess any of the mystical vulnerabilities that supernatural vampires are subject to, such as garlic, holy water, crucifix, or silver. Morbius has a strong aversion to sunlight, thanks to his photo-sensitive skin which prevents any protection from major sun burn, in contrast to "true" vampires that are incinerated by it, with the result that he can move in daylight but his powers are diminished and he will stick to the shade if circumstances demand him to be active during the day. Morbius also lacks the shape-shifting and weather-control powers, and the ability to control animals, of vampires. Like "true" vampires, Morbius does possess the ability to hypnotize beings of lesser willpower and bring them under his control, which can only be resisted by those possessing an extremely strong will. While briefly infected by the demon Bloodthirst, Morbius gained the ability to liquidize his body, moving through small spaces and stretching his limbs as needed.

Jack Russell, Werewolf by Night
The History Of Jack Russell is long and complicated and reads like the script of a bad Werewolf Movie.  Needless to say Jack Russel spent years on the road helping people out and ,during the three night of the full moon, turning into a savage Werewolf,

While reports of lycanthropy (becoming a werewolf) in the Russoff line stretch back many centuries, the first confirmed manifestation is Grigori Russoff in 1795. Dracula slew Grigori's wife Louisa after he refused to acknowledge Dracula's primacy upon his return to Transylvania. Grigori then ambushed and destroyed Dracula, but was turned into a werewolf by Lydia, a werewolf formerly imprisoned by the vampire lord. Grigori took a second wife, but accounts vary as to why lycanthropy failed to pass to his descendents. Sometime prior to May 1930, Grigori's descendent, Gregor, obtained the legendary Darkhold scrolls, binding them back into book form. Reading lycanthropy's origins in the Darkhold under a full moon triggered the dormant curse, turning Gregor into a werewolf. Gregor further transcribed much of the Darkhold into Grigori's diary, essentially creating a Darkhold copy, which he used as his own diary.

Gregor sold part of his estate — including Wundagore Mountain — to Jonathon Drew, who shared it with partner Herbert Wyndham (the future High Evolutionary). The Russoff werewolf slew Jonathon's wife, Merriem, and Wyndham designed a suit of silver-coated armor to protect himself, enabling Russoff's capture. Russoff stayed with the Evolutionary, who kept the werewolf safely contained for decades. Russoff eventually used the Darkhold to summon Chthon to cure him, and the Elder God nearly broke through the earthly plane; but Magnus the Sorcerer forced Russoff to banish Chthon, who lashed out with a parting blast that slew Gregor. Despite contrary accounts, the Gregor Russoff who stayed with the High Evolutionary seems to have been the grandfather (or great-grandfather) of Jack Russell. Having the same name and presumably using the same diary contributed to earlier confusion. It would seem more likely that the elder Gregor was the one who transcribed the Darkhold into the diary.

Decades later, another Gregor Russoff married Laura, the former girlfriend of his younger brother Philip. Jacob (later Jack) was born in Mediaş, Transylvania, soon after, and Laura was pregnant with Lissa within two years of marriage; however, when lightning struck Russoff's Transylvanian castle during a full moon, the werewolf Gregor escaped confinement and began attacking villagers. They tracked down and killed Russoff with silver bullets. Gregor's mother, Maria, was stoned and driven from the village, living with gypsies and learning magic. After Gregor's death, Laura found Philip - who had moved to Los Angeles, anglicizing his name to Russell - and they married after a year; Jack and Lissa remained unaware of Philip's past.

Approximately fifteen years later, the criminal Committee learned of Gregor's curse and blackmailed Philip, threatening to reveal his secrets. To protect Laura's name, Philip paid them but had second thoughts and canceled payment, causing the Committee to send Max Grant to kill Laura. Critically injured in a car crash on Jack's 18th birthday, Laura barely had time to tell Jack about his true father and the curse of the werewolf, making Jack promise not to harm Philip, before dying. Having inherited lycanthropy the night before, Jack slew Grant, but wrongly blamed Philip for some time. Laura left Castle Russoff in Jack's name, but Philip, the trustee, sold the castle to Miles Blackgar, who had it moved to an island off California's coast. Jack battled a motorcycle gang, infecting its members with lycanthropy.

Jack spent the next few years as a traveler, transforming on the three nights of the full moon into savage werewolf form. He learned of the Darkhold from Nathan and Agatha Timly, who briefly kidnapped the Werewolf and met grisly ends. Befriending writer Buck Cowan, Jack sneaked into Blackgar's castle and stole the Darkhold, encountering Miles Blackgar and his daughter Marlene, whose petrifying power slew both Blackgars. After fighting off the deformed Cephalos' plot to drain his power to stabilize Cephalos' form, Jack had Father Ramon Joaquez translate the Darkhold. The priest died after being possessed by the Darkhold's former custodian, 12th century Mad Monk Aelfric, and the indestructible Darkhold vanished. Jack encountered Joshua Kane, who hunted the Werewolf, and his brother, Luther Kane, who offered to prevent Lissa from becoming a werewolf in exchange for Jack kidnapping billionaire recluse Judson Hemp; he met mentalist Swami Rihva, who sought the Werewolf's blood to reveal the treasure-map of the ancient sorcerer Kaman-Ru on his "Bloodstone"; the possessing demon Krogg; and Spider-Man and Moondark the Magician. Jack then fought the sonic-weapons of Sarnak, his first brush with the criminal Committee who wished to enslave the Werewolf.


Frankenstein's Monster
Frankenstein's Monster was built from human corpses by a scientist named Victor Frankenstein, in Ingolstadt, Bavaria, in the late 18th century. His efforts to fit in with regular humanity were futile due to his horrific form, and he was infuriated. Victor Frankenstein created and subsequently killed a mate for the Monster, who killed Frankenstein's bride Elizabeth in retaliation. After killing several people, the Monster fled to the Arctic. His creator pursued him, but died due to the cold. The Monster, anguished, tried to kill himself but only went into a state of suspended animation from the cold.

In the 1890s, heat revived the Monster and he wandered again. He searched for the descendant of Victor Frankenstein and finally ended up in Transylvania. The Monster clashed with Dracula, and his vocal cords were injured. Vincent Frankenstein finally found him and tried to give him a new brain, dying in the process as he was shot by an angry maidservant before the Monster could kill him. Frustrated, the Monster returned to a state of suspended animation.

At some point, the Monster was temporarily pulled out of time to serve in Kang the Conqueror's Legion of the Unliving to fight the Avengers.

The Monster eventually emerged from suspended animation in a glacier to the modern world. He was aided by Victoria Frankenstein, a distant relative of his creator. This woman was kindly, and repaired his vocal cords.  The Monster joined Victoria Von Frankenstein and her mutant charges, the Children of the Damned, beings who were mutated by Basil and Ludwig Von Frankenstein's failed human experiments.  The Monster allied with Spider-Man against the Monster Maker, Baron Von Shtupf and his pawn the Man-Wolf

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Jukebox Saturday: One of the albums that saved my soul- Bob Mould's Workbook


I'm sure every music fan has spent the night involved in a rousing session of "Top 5".  It usually starts with the classic Desert Island Top 5, and then digresses into more specific categories.  I'd list my entire Top 5 here, but that would eliminate future installments.

I don't know if I have a desert island top 5.  I prefer to think of it as the top 5 albums that saved my soul.  Albums that got me through the tough times and heart breaks.  All you other freaks who see the Universe through the hole in the middle of an LP understand where I'm coming from.

One of the albums that saved my soul was the first solo album by Bob Mould.  Workbook is a masterpiece of Melancholia, Heartache, Pain, Regret, and ultimately redemption seen through the post-punk soul of a brilliant songwriter.  The album is sincere emotion with an unfiltered purity, that (for me) reminds me of my place in the Universe.

Take a minute and listen to the full album.  It is an amazing work from beginning to end.

Track listing

All tracks composed by Bob Mould; except where indicated.
"Sunspots" – 2:04
"Wishing Well" – 5:10
"Heartbreak a Stranger" – 5:50
"See a Little Light" – 3:31
"Poison Years" – 5:23
"Sinners and Their Repentances" – 4:04
"Brasilia Crossed With Trenton" – 6:37
"Compositions For the Young and Old" – 4:39
"Lonely Afternoon" – 4:27
"Dreaming, I Am" – 4:16
"Whichever Way the Wind Blows" – 6:25
"All Those People Know" – 3:41 (Workbook 25 bonus track)
The 25th anniversary edition "Workbook 25"  features a bonus live disc from the Cabaret Metro in Chicago.

AllMusic Review by Stephen Thomas Erlewine


Arriving after years of sonic bombast in Hüsker Dü, the reflective, acoustic nature of Bob Mould's first solo album, Workbook, was a bold statement of renewal. Like all of Mould's work, it's an intensely introspective record, finding him purging demons left over from the dissolution of Hüsker Dü. Instead of relying on raging guitars, Mould explores a wide variety of styles, from pure pop ("See a Little Light") to reflective folk laced with cellos. It's an astonishing array of styles, and the songs are among Mould's finest. For many observers, the record established him as a major songwriter, but it also established a way for underground post-punk artists to mature -- echoes of Workbook could be heard throughout the '90s, from R.E.M.'s elegiac Automatic for the People to Nirvana's use of cellos on In Utero and Unplugged. But Workbook remains a stunning work of individuality, marrying a distinctive body of songs with an original musical vision. Occasionally, the production is a little too pristine, but the power of the songs cannot be diminished.

Friday, October 16, 2015

film fan Friday: 12 bodies in the basement


Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

Not Rated | 118 min | Comedy, Crime | 23 September 1944 (USA)

A drama critic learns on his wedding day that his beloved maiden aunts are homicidal maniacs, and that insanity runs in his family.

Director: Frank Capra

Writers: Julius J. Epstein (screen play), Philip G. Epstein(screen play),

Stars: Cary Grant, Priscilla Lane, Raymond Massey
As important as It's a Wonderful Life has become to the Christmas season, I believe that Frank Capra's most important holiday contribution Is the Halloween Classic, Arsenic and Old Lace. 

 If you've only seen it on TV, you haven't really seen it.  The story involves murder and insanity.  It also involves marriage and a guy who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt.  It's funny and weird, and creepy.  I will admit that it is steeped in the Americana of it's time, and some of the attitudes are old fashioned.  None of that is enough to change the film's status as classic

This film is full of some of the classic things that make Capra films what they are.  There is humor and schmaltz and people following their personal passions, all these things lead to trouble of a dark and wacky nature.

For me it's a Halloween classic.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

retro TV Thursday: Studio 60


I would like to take a moment to thank the Univese for Aaron Sorkin.  I'm sure that most of you have seen the West Wing.  I am also sure that none of you saw the successor to the West Wing.  Aaron Sorkin sat down and created the behind the scenes show about the fictional late night comedy extravaganza Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is an American comedy-drama television series created and primarily written by Aaron Sorkin.

The series takes place behind the scenes of a live sketch comedy show (also called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip or Studio 60) on the fictional television network NBS (National Broadcasting System), whose format is similar to that of NBC's Saturday Night Live. National Broadcasting System is owned by the TMG Corporation. The show-within-a-show is run by executive producers Matt Albie (Matthew Perry) and Danny Tripp (Bradley Whitford). Matt serves as the head writerand Danny produces the show.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip ran on NBC for 22 episodes, from September 18, 2006 to June 28, 2007. It is Aaron Sorkin's only TV show not to air for more than one series.
  Studio 60 had trouble from the beginning.  NBC had signed two television shows about the behind the scenes running of a television show.  The other show was the Tina Fey masterpiece 30 Rock.  NBC knew that they would only be keeping one show and the ratings dictated that it would not be Studio 60.  

  Studio 60 was critical of the television industry itself, it explored the dumbing down and moral decay of the television industry.  In many way the series portrayed the fight to redeem network television.  It also spent a lot of time exploring how to entertain a nation that was becoming more polarized of various religious and political issues.

  I think the issue was that the network thought it was a comedy, and the show had it's share of humor, but the series was a drama about running a sketch comedy show.  Studio 60 was a victim of the very attitudes that it was flying in the face of.  The show was too smart and too real in it's portrayal of the polarization of America.

  The clip I've posted from the first episode is the breakdown of a television executive who is fed up.  The breakdown takes place live on camera.

  If you are a fan of the Newsroom. Sports Night, or the West Wing, you need to add Studio 60 to you DVD collection.  It is just another in a long line of television shows that was killed too early.

I've stolen stuff from Wikipedia like usual, but here is the link to the full entry.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Studio_60_on_the_Sunset_Strip

and here is the link to the videos on the YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vahmSjnpXgg&list=PLClk5iYCqY9YfSmp727W-sWzlzV-jgYW7

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Grab Bag Wednesday: Politics, Religion, and things you don't talk about in bars


Lately I've been thinking about the division of Church and State and how, over the years that line has become more and more blurred.  People have stopped voting for the benefit of the country and have been voting for whichever candidate will legislate their personal belief system into law and punish all the unbelievers.
I know that this is mostly an untrue statement.  Voting has little to do with God and more to do with the worship of money and power.  Wait, those are the Neo-American Gods.  Sorry If I've offended the faithful.

When it comes to governments, Money, Power, and Religion have always been the Trinity.  It's what started the Crusades and the Inquisition.  Catholics have killed Protestants and Protestants have killed Catholics all based on the opinion that one form of worship was more correct that the other.  Politics and Religiosity have always been strange bedfellows.
People think that things like the Holy Wars could never happen in Modern times.  General Opinion is that we've grown beyond the pettiness of these particular hatreds.  I'm not going to get into particular examples here.  There are too many incidents to list.

I'm here to talk about elections and the three ring circus of campaigning.  I no longer care about Trump's hair or his war with cookie companies.  I understand the Hilary is a strong woman candidate.  Any moron can look and listen for a minute and realize both of those things about Hillary. 
I'm sick of Republicans and Democrats, of Tea Parties and green parties, of occupy this or occupy that.  If I'm going to vote according to a belief system, I'm going to #VOTEFICTIONAL.
I am a Fictionologist.  It is a faith and a philosophy.  It is a group dynamic based on individuality.  In its simplest terms...


Fictionology is the best religion in the world. It is the most diverse, accommodating, yet simple religion in theoretical existence. Anything anyone makes up can be called Fictionology. Adherents of the religion worship whomever/however they choose, and are even encouraged to find ever new deities to worship. It differs from many traditional religions, which often teach that there is only one true or valid religion. Instead, each Fictionologist has a unique set of beliefs, values, practices, and rituals that are all equally valid under the banner of Fictionology. While many individual Fictionologists will naturally think that their specific version of it is best, most are tolerant of other sects within Fictionology.

link to this article re: Fictionology
http://www.theonion.com/article/scientology-losing-ground-to-new-fictionology-1327

I realize I'm burying the lead on this, but I think it's important that you know what I'm getting at.  I want to be thorough.  Voting is too important to just pick the candidate that feeds you the best line of crap.

If the candidates are manufacturing facts, wouldn't it be better to vote for candidates who are completely  manufactured.  As a Fictionologist,
I believe in everyone's right to vote for any Fictional Character that they think is fit for the job.  Over the years, many fictional candidates have taken a shot, but no one took them seriously enough to back them.

The best part about a Fictional President is that you know they're not for real.  You know where you stand.







Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Superhero Tuesday:Like the Batman but with real problems



In the days when comic companies knocked off each other's characters and passed them off as their own, none were as inspired as the Moon Knight.

Moon Knight is a fictional superhero appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. The character exists in the Marvel Universe and was created by Doug Moench andDon Perlin. He first appeared in Werewolf by Night #32 (August 1975).

Moon Knight was not supposed to catch on.  He was supposed to have his appearance in
Werewolf By Night and the disappear into the limbo that holds the one shot heroes of the 1970's, But Moony was more that a rip off of Batman. He was destined to survive and evolve into a scathing exploration of the sanity of anyone who, without powers, puts on a costume and fights the gun toting elements of the world.

Over the course of his life as a boxer, U.S. Marine, mercenary, and costumed superhero, Marc Spector has become an expert at hand-to-hand combat techniques and various martial arts. He is an Olympic-level athlete and a skilled acrobat and gymnast, and excels as a combat strategist. He employs a variety of weapons over the course of his career, including throwing darts, nunchaku, and a truncheon. He is skilled with most weapons, and an expert with throwing weapons. Spector is a superb driver and can pilot a helicopter.

I guess it all depends on how crazy you like your costumed adventurers.  Sure Marc Spector was a Mercenary, but the other identity, Steven Grant, is the millionaire who spends Spector's mercenary money, and finally, the third identity Jake Lockley, a cab driver who digs up information on the street.  These are not disguises they are separate personalities and each have their own lives.

Marc Spector is a big bag of psychological disorders the largest of which is Dissociative Personality Disorder.

On top of that, Spector believes he is the tool of vengeance for an ancient Egyptian god.  Marc believes that as The Fist of Knonshu, he is granted super powers that wax and wane with the phases of the moon.  
Spector gained his superhuman powers as a result of a visitation by the Egyptian moon god Khonshu. Moon Knight's strength, endurance, and reflexes are enhanced depending upon the phases of the moon. The fuller the moon, the more strength Moon Knight derives from it, though even during a new moon, he can lift several hundred pounds. He has some degree of superhuman strength during the peak of a lunar cycle, but he only gets superhuman strength from the lunar cycle. It's not known how much of this strength is mystical and how much is simply the result of self-hypnosis due to his psychological instability. Due to his multiple personalities, he is also resistant to some psychic attacks and sometimes receives prophetic visions.

Charlie Huston, writer of the 2006 re-launch of Moon Knight, attempted to answer the criticism that Moon Knight is an ersatz Batman in an interview with Comixfan. The interviewer noted that the comparison is not baseless, as both Moon Knight and the Dark Knight are wealthy, "normal" humans that use gadgetry to fight crime.

Huston accepted that the two characters had their similarities, but went on to contrast the two by noting in particular differences in origin, motives, and personality. "Bruce Wayne", he said, "fights crime to avenge the murders of his parents", whereas Moon Knight "beats up whoever has it coming because he believes he is the avatar of the Egyptian god of vengeance and it helps him to feel better about all the people he killed when he was a mercenary." Thus, while Batman is motivated by vengeance for wrong done to his parents, Marc Spector is motivated by vengeance as a concept. Huston further notes that Bruce Wayne, Batman's alter ego, takes on other personalities merely to aid in his fight. However, Moon Knight has three alter egos which aid him as much in dealing with personal demons as fighting law-breakers, and which have taken a further psychological toll of causing dissociative identity disorder.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Super Villain Monday: Nightmare on Marvel Street

Welcome to another edition of Super Villain Monday.  Today during our month of horriffic good guys and bad guys, we turn the Neo-Retro spotlight on Marvel Comics.

Marvel has a tendency to treat their magic users as super heroes.  When they do step outside of that box and play serious magic hardball, that's when the good things happen.  On the top of the good thing list is the dream demon known as Nighmare.
Nightmare is a fictional character, a supervillain who appears in Marvel Comics, most commonly as one of Doctor Strange and Ghost Rider's major enemies.

Before Neil Gaiman gave us the Sandman, Marvel presented us with  the baddest dream king ever.  Nighmare feeds on the slumber time fears mof the human race.  He is dependent on the human race for his survival.  This does not make him a champion of Humanity.

He may not be set on the destruction of the Human Race, but he wouldn't mind their total domination, subjugation, and living their lives in a stat of extended terror.

Nightmare has no moral compass.  He has no personal angst.  He does possess a will to survive, a desire to thrive, and a sense of competition that makes him one of the most evil bastards in the Marvel Univers.
Fictional character biography

He is the evil ruler of a 'dream dimension', where tormented humans are brought during their sleep. He roams this realm on his demonic black horned horse named Dreamstalker. He appears as a chalk-white man with wild green hair, a green bodysuit, and a ragged cape. He was the first foe met by Doctor Strange, when a man who was having troubled dreams went to Strange for help, though it is revealed this is due to him committing a murder. Later Nightmare imprisons several humans in his dimension, but Strange frees them. When Doctor Strange forgot to recite a spell before he slept, Nightmare started tormenting him, before Strange was freed after tricking Nightmare by casting an illusion of an enemy of his.

Nightmare is a demon from the dimension Everinnye, like his "cousin", the Dweller-in-Darkness. Nightmare is dependent on the human race's need to dream. Without this ability, Nightmare would cease to exist, but humanity would go insane. At one point Strange and Nightmare had to join forces to prevent that from happening.   Nightmare has run afoul ofSpider-Man, Captain America, Ghost Rider, Dazzler, Wolverine, and the Hulk on different occasions. Nightmare also served under Shuma-Gorath and warned Strange that the demon would be a force that even the Sorcerer Supreme would have trouble defeating, and he once joined the Fear Lords, a group of supernatural creatures who fed on fear, to attack Dr. Strange together. Their plans were undone whenD'Spayre tricks him into competing with the Dweller-in-Darkness over who could frighten humanity more.




Sunday, October 11, 2015

Obscure Superteam Sunday: the Legion of Substitute Heroes

In the Universe of heroes, especially when it comes to the future, what we really need to be reminded of is the hierarchy of cliques that existed when we were in High School.  The cool kids play varsity and are on the cheer squad and the dorks are in chess club and band.

In the world of super teams the Legion of Super Heroes are the cool kids and everyone else gets to be in the Legion of Substitute Heroes.  I know it sounds like a super powered version of Revenge of the Nerds, but it was never that exciting.

The Subs spent most of their time fighting second rate evil and whining about how they never made the Legion proper.

It's not that the Subs were bad people, or that they didn't try hard enough.  It's that their powers were limited or dangerous or silly.  You can judge for yourself when you get to the membership roster.

On the upside, the Subs never stopped trying and some of them even made it into the LSH.  The day Polar Boy made it to team leader is one of the happiest days among the ranks of the Subs.  It proved it was possible to clique jump and play with the cool kid does.  It is kinda inspirational.

The Legion of Substitute Heroes was founded by Polar Boy, Night GirlStone BoyFire Lad, and Chlorophyll Kid, five young heroes whose powers were not sufficient to earn them membership in the Legion of Super-Heroes — Night Girl for example could only use her powers in the dark. After receiving a Legion flight belt as a consolation prize, the five disconsolate teenagers decided to form a group that could pinch hit for the Legion. After several failures as a team, the Subs managed to save the Earth from an invasion by Plant Men while the Legion was off planet fighting a decoy armada of robot spaceships.

At first operating in secrecy, the Legion of Substitute Heroes was gradually recognized by the real Legion as a valuable asset, most notably after the assault on the Citadel of Throon when the regular Legionnaires were all defeated and it was left to Polar Boy and Night Girl to lead an effective attack and end the siege.[1] The Substitute Heroes saved the Legionnaires from such threats as the Taurus Gang and the lethal League of Super-Assassins.

Members of the Legion of Substitute Heroes include:

  • Antennae Lad (Khfeurb Chee Bez from the planet Grxyor): has the power to tune into any broadcast from any era, but mostly at random.
  • Chlorophyll Kid (Ral Benem from the planet Mardru): has the power to make plants grow extremely fast. He gained this power after falling into a vat of super plant growth formula as a small child. He claims that he can only accelerate plant growth, not control plants, although some of his actions seem to contradict this[volume & issue needed].
  • Color Kid (Ulu Vakk from the planet Lupra): can change the color of objects. Gained his power after being struck by a ray from another dimension. In the 1985 Legion of Substitute Heroes one-shot, he was temporarily known as Color Queen after being exposed to Granderian Gender-Reversal Germs by Infectious Lass.
  • Double-Header (Frenk and Dyvud Retzun from the planet Janus): has two heads as a result of gradual mitosis.
  • Fire Lad (Staq Mavlen from the planet Schwar): gained the power to breathe fire (often accidentally, as he suffers from allergies) after inhaling vapors from a meteorite.
  • Infectious Lass (Drura Sehpt from the planet Somahtur): spontaneously generates infectious diseases. Her aim and control are haphazard, though.
  • Night Girl (Lydda Jath from the sunless planet Kathoon): has super strength and invulnerability which were engineered for her by her father, but they are only effective in darkness.
  • Polar Boy (Brek Bannin from the planet Tharr): had the ability to project cold and ice. When introduced he had difficulties controlling the powers, but became proficient after training for several years. After the Substitute Heroes disbanded, he was admitted to the Legion proper, and later elected its leader.
  • Porcupine Pete (Peter Dursin from Earth): has quills he can inaccurately shoot from his body.
  • Stone Boy (Dag Wentim from the planet Zwen): has the power to turn into stone for hibernating on a planet with a six-month-long night. In the beginning Stone Boy could only transform into an inanimate stone statue and was often used in humorous ways (e.g., being dropped on a villain), or as a distraction while the other "Subs" carried out some mission. Stone Boy won a Legion test and was offered full membership but he declined and stayed with the Subs. During the "Five Year Gap", he underwent hypnotherapy and gained the ability to stay conscious during his transformation and, eventually, even to move in his stone state.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Jukebox Saturday: The Sweetest Relief Effort

The musicians of the world often gather together to take on great big causes.  They are often applauded and saluted for this behavior, and it often raises public awareness of the ongoing issues that really do need more attention.  I would like to thank these great big music stars for donating time and talent to worthy causes.

I'm all for saving the world.  Sometimes, I get tired of the hype.  I get tired of the in your face of it all.  I wonder how sincere the artists are, I wonder if the money is going to the right place.

The one time I stopped wondering was when a group of singers/songwriters/musicians got together to help one of their own.

Back in the days before universal health care was the law, many people trying to make a primary living in the arts did without it.  If they were diagnosed with something big and scary, they were kinda screwed.  This was the case with talented songwriter Victoria Williams.

Victoria Williams was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  In order to raise money to cover her medical expenses, musical artists put together an album.  Instead of donating their own work, these artists recorded the songs of Victoria Williams.  This gave her the publishing rights, the royalties, and the accolades.  It was much more than a band-aid for the situation.  These musical cats were working on an extended solution.

The result of this good deed was one of the best tribute albums ever.  I listen to it regularly and marvel at the overall coolness of the whole thing.

 

Sweet Relief: A Benefit for Victoria Williams is a 1993 tribute album that features a variety of alternative rock bands covering songs written by Victoria Williams. The project was inspired by Williams being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and led to the creation of the Sweet Relief Fund, a charity that aids professional musicians (of any stature) in need of health care.

Victoria Williams (born December 23, 1958) is an American singer, songwriter and musician, originally from Shreveport, Louisiana, although she has resided in Southern California throughout her musical career. She is noted for her descriptive songwriting talent, which she has used to immerse the listener of her songs into a vivid feeling of small-town, rural Southern upbringing and life. Her best-known songs include "Crazy Mary", and "Century Plant". Finding inspiration in nature, ("Weeds", "Century Plant," "Why Look at the Moon"), everyday objects ("Shoes," "Frying Pan") and the unseen, as in "Holy Spirit".
Below are as many songs from the Sweet Relief Album that I could find.  One song has been substituted, but all the songs are represented.
 

If you are so inclined, you should listen to Victoria sing her own songs.  She is amazing, and unlike most of todays PoP Stars.  She is a genuine Artist with a capital A.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Film Fan Friday-Monsters are Universal

In the early days of Horror Films nobody did it better or sometimes worse than Universal Pictures,  It was a trend in those days to take the title of a famous monster/horror story and make a movie out of it.  there were many successes, Dracula, Frankenstein, and The Invisible Man stand out as some of the Classics that have stood the test of time.

On the flip side...The Raven and The Black Cat have little to do with anything written by Poe and are better left to amusing machinations of a comical horror movie host.

The Wolf Man and Mummy, while not based on literature, were also quite successful.  These stories were based on the rise in Egyptology during the 1930's and classic Eastern European folklore.

The source is irrelevant.  Like all film trends, there are good and bad entries in the big bad log book of Universal Monster Movies.  There were sequels that were not as good as the original and there were some that were superior.

In most cases, if there was source material, it was not strictly adhered to.  Most of the films shift from the original sources.  There are missing moments and missing characters.  Some of the plot was changed as to not offend the standards of the time.

The writers of these things were hamstrung by what they could adapt and how quickly the production deadline was approaching.  Horror movies were seen less as art and mor a good way to get money out of kids who were just looking for a good fright.

It fell mostly on the skill of actors in state of the art 1930's makeup to raise or lower the quality of the movie.  Many talented actors transcended the horror genre and entered into legitimate films and theater.  Some were hard pressed to get work outside of the genre.  One, notably, took too much heroin and died.  You can do the individual research on your own.

We owe much of the success of modern horror films to the Universal Films and their talented actors.  Below is, I believe, the quintessential list of classic Universal Horror films.  These are the ones that terrified me when i was 9 years old.


Lon Chaney, Sr.

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
Unrated | 93 min | Horror | 15 November 1925 (USA)

A mad, disfigured composer seeks love with a lovely young opera singer.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (I) (1923)
Unrated | 133 min | Drama, Romance | 6 September 1923 (USA)

In fifteenth century Paris, the brother of the archdeacon plots with the gypsy king to foment a peasant revolt. Meanwhile, a freakish hunchback falls in love with the gypsy queen.
Lon Chaney, Jr.


Frankenstein (1931)
Not Rated | 70 min | Horror, Sci-Fi | 21 November 1931 (USA)

An obsessed scientist assembles a living being from parts of exhumed corpses.



Bela Lugosi
Dracula (1931)
Approved | 85 min | Horror | 14 February 1931 (USA)

The ancient vampire Count Dracula arrives in England and begins to prey upon the virtuous young Mina.








Elsa Lanchester

Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
Not Rated | 75 min | Horror, Sci-Fi | 22 April 1935 (USA)

Mary Shelley reveals the main characters of her novel survived: Dr. Frankenstein (goaded by an even madder scientist) builds his monster a mate.





                                                   

Boris Karloff
The Mummy (1932)
Not Rated | 73 min | Horror

| 22 December 1932 (USA)

A living mummy stalks the beautiful woman he believes is the reincarnation of his lover.

Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)
Approved | 79 min | Adventure, Horror, Sci-Fi | 5 March 1954 (USA)

A strange prehistoric beast lurks in the depths of the Amazonian jungle. A group of scientists try to capture the animal and bring it back to civilization for study.


The Wolf Man (1941)
Approved | 70 min | Drama, Horror | 12 December 1941 (USA)

A practical man returns to his homeland, is attacked by a creature of folklore, and infected with a horrific disease his disciplined mind tells him can not possibly exist.



The Invisible Man (1933)
Not Rated | 71 min | Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi | 13 November 1933 (USA)

A scientist finds a way of becoming invisible, but in doing so, he becomes murderously insane.